Okay, listen up. As you’ve already fathomed, because you’re perceptively brilliant, either from intuition or because you’ve been delightfully swept away by this performance of words, I’m hopelessly, deliciously, obsessively in love with writing.

It’s not a hobby. It’s not a profession. It’s a incurable condition. You can expose me, eternally, with a pen glued in hand, ink-stained and entirely unbothered, sunken deep somewhere inside the cathedral of my journal, writing manically until my fingers bleed of utter joy.

Every incessant thought, every microscopic, ridiculous observation, I seize it, secure it, and enforce it to sing. I don’t care if it’s a half-assed breakup text, a mundane billboard for socks, or the back of a cereal box, if there’s space for words, I’ll make them dance. And even flirt a little.

Need a product description that flutters its lashes in? A brand voice that could steal your date? A caption that’s somehow both unhinged and poetic? I’m your guy.

But here's the thing, I’m not just here to make things sound sensible. I’m here to implore irrevocable sensations. I believe in writing that breaks. That devastates. That stands up, gashes its shirt in half, and demands your attention. I crave words that entertain, seduce, challenge, comfort, and occasionally annihilate you a little (in a good way, of course).

If you're thirsting for boring, corporate, colorless... I am deeply unqualified. However, if you're after words that that tempt, charm, sting, and entice, I’m already writing them.

I’m equal parts poet and punk, strategist and stand-up comedian, monk and menace.

Let’s make magic, or whatever cheesy insertion I’m supposed to deploy here, or we can at least levitate your brand depiction so sumptuously, it provokes your competitors into an indelible existential crisis.